For a long time and especially lately I've been struggling with the whole Mary/Martha syndrome (see Luke 10:38-42). In the morning once my feet hit the floor I'm running. There are always a million and two things to do and in my head I know that I need to spend time with the Lord, consulting Him about my day, my attitude, my conduct, etc. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I need to be filled by His Spirit not to do, do, do, but to be who He wants me to be each day. But somehow my flesh creeps up and reminds me of the dishes, the vacuuming, getting the kids fed and dressed, the leaves that need to be swept, the homework Annie needs to complete, the bills that need to be paid, the garage that needs to be cleaned out, the emails to return, the dust to be dusted, the tub to be scrubbed, appointments to be made...and oh yeah! children to be tended to (they do like a little attention from mommy). So as I sit down to read and pray I feel less than productive. Does that mean I have little or no faith that what I'm doing is actually beneficial? Its like I'm scared that someone will come to accuse me of being idle...not being on my feet and running around accomplishing all my tasks. Sometimes I think that its because I don't have an offical job that I work 40 hours a week, contributing to society and putting in my fair share. So who am I to be able to sit and relax and receive? Now if another stay-at-home mom told me she felt this way I would be so quick to tell her of her worth in Lord and she does have a job - raising a family and caring for her home and contributing God-fearing, decent people to our society. I know in my head that it is a ridiculous idea to think someone will observe and accuse me because the only 3 people who see me in my home have never put a requirement of this nature on me. If anything I'm being told to just relax! But I came across a verse in my Exodus study that kind of hit home in this area for me. Pharaoh told the Israelites (when they were not meeting his expectations for his work quota due to harsh requirements) "You are idle! Idle! Therefore you say, "Let us go and sacrafice to the Lord.'" (Ex. 5:17) I guess Pharaoh is just a picture of my own flesh here.
Last Sunday, Pastor Peter gave a message not on how much we should love God, but on how we ought to realize how much God loves us and to really meditate on that. Its okay to ask God to bless me and to sit and just receive from Him. We are called to serve and be industrious, but all of that is a response to the amazing love the Lord has shown us through Jesus Christ. So Lord, help me to dwell on Your love for me, and not be afraid to ask for Your blessings. Help me choose that good part (spending time at Your feet) that will not be taken away from me, just like Mary did.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Idle! Idle!
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3 comments:
In reading your lamentation I can clearly see how much integrity and social conscience you have and how you're wrestling with what you perceive your earthly and mundane duties and responsibilities to be vs. a "perfect" existence. Most of our lives are overwhelming for different reasons.
I can only offer two concepts: priority, and balance. We must prioritize because we're never going to get absolutely everything accomplished that we would like. It's productive if we establish categories; e.g., "spiritual," "mommy," "homemaker," "wife," "friend," etc. Then within those categories prioritize what's more important. Finally, establish balance between the prioritized categories.
I'm sure that you've thought of all of this but sometimes it helps if someone else reinforces the idea. I hope that I'm not talking like a man on which a tree fell and all of this makes sense!
I totally understand. And the scripture is encouraging, especially because the spiritual battle is getting more fierce. Satan wants to distract us in every way from meeting with God in the secret place. Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the other holidays are usually the bigest distraction for me, . Shopping, cooking, cleaning, decorating,journaling & blogging, etc the list goes on. And so little time with the one whome I am celebrating, "Immanuel, God with us". I need a lonley day with Jesus so that I can get some fresh perspective. If you think of me lift up a prayer for me.
Love,
Nettie
p.s. I can tell that your Dad really loves you. Its nice to read His comments.
Hi Laura,
I can totally agree with you. I justify my postponement of devotions by saying, "I need to do all of this first so that I can really sit and recieve without being distracted." So then I do my devotions later in the day.
But I like what you said about how at the start of the day we need to seek Him so that He can show us what He wants us to do and fill us so we can be WHO He wants us to be. Wow. Thank you for the encouragement.
Things are different for those us us who take care of the home. When I worked outside the house I knew I needed Jesus to go to work with me and I'd do my study at 4:30 in the morning everyday before I did anything. But working in the home never ends and the day really never begins, it just continues from the nightime feedings that exhaust me!!! Anyways. Thank you. I relate and I appreciate your honest example!!!
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