No, I don't have the flu or a cold...I have a case of the "I Wants" and I've had it pretty bad the last month and a half. Warning: if you don't want a glimpse into the ugliness of my natural heart, stop reading here. Anyway, I know that I am truly blessed with an amazing husband, two healthy and beautiful daughters who adore me, a cozy little roof over my head, a fabulous extended family and a wonderful church family...the list could go on and on. But for some reason I find myself wishing for more and better. A bigger home to own, not rent and beautifully decorated. My children to be obedient and considerate all the time. My husband to be less stressed out and his time more available, even though I couldn't ask for a more honorable man who's desire is to be in school studying how to teach God's Word and make an eternal difference in people's lives. Unlimited funds to send my children to private Christian school. I want clear, pretty skin. I want to be able to buy whatever all of my family and friends want for Christmas. I would love to be that person who has to make numerous trips to the car to unload all the presents to give out. I would love to be able to just be out and about, see an item in a window and buy it because so-and-so would love it. I want to be able to meet others' material needs. I want, I want, I want. This is my discontent, my struggle, and one of the many areas of my life the Lord is working on. I have never regretted staying home with my children because deep down I know I need to be with them and all the material things don't hold a candle to the impact my presence and care have on them. I'm not willing to go back to work right now for these "wants". But somehow I've got to get out of this mentality. Now feel free to slap me around a little and tell me how ridiculous I'm being and to snap out of it. Meanwhile, I'm going to send my Christmas wish list to my cousin. :)
Thursday, December 6, 2007
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6 comments:
No need to slap you around. I'm afraid that your malady is universal and the only cure is patience. I'm glad that you're intelligent enough to restrain yourself and not go into a bottomless chasm of debt in order to satisfy your wants. Your priorities are MOST certainly in the right order and more people should follow your selfless example! In time you will be richly rewarded because in your wisdom you know that you're making the greatest investment possible--in your children. Your life will continue to get better and better as time goes on. Patience.
whoever wrote you this comment, sounds very wise...it touched my heart. I have this bug too...I hate it! I know all the right things and long for my thoughts to match my feelings. Like Paul said, "o wretched man that I am who will deliver me from this bondage of sin." Nothing new under the sun...doesn't make things better though when you are the one going through it. Let us continue to hold-on patiently, for there is hope and this hope doesn't dissapoint.
I confess! I'm "anonymous." But you already knew that, didn't you, Laura?!
I have the bug too. I started to get depressed yesterday because I want a house ( and everything you mentioned) so bad and right now. I asked Gabe to drive past some model homes to see if there where any beautiful Christmas lights on them. But to my surprise there were none. After we got home. I dreamt over and over about what my Christmas would be like in a brand new home. I started to pick apart my Apartment. Then I found myself staring. Gabe asked me If I still loved him even though he couldnt buy me a house. I told him that as we where driving around I remembered when we where in high school driving around on a lonley road at night. Then I realized that the teenage boy that I married was still sitting next to me. The only thing was that we had three kids in the back,one screaming, we are getting older, fatter, and more in love than when we first saw each other.I told him that I couldnt picture myself being married to anyone else. He asked if it was because we watched, "It's A Wonderful Life? I said no, it's because I love you.I wished that someone could have slapped the bug out of me last night. But not even Gabe could do it. I just Prayed and prayed and asked the Lord to please help me to be paitent, and thankful for what I do have. I thought of scriptures and repeated them back to Gabe. Then the Lord woke me up with the Word.
James 4:13,14,15,&16.
Collosians 3:1-4
A Prayer For Spiritual Wisdom & filling This Christmas.
Ehesians 1:15-23
Love,
Nettie
P.s. I agree,Paitence is a virtue
It's okay to feel these things! God gave you these feelings and desires. Maybe for a reason... What counts is how you act on those desires. That's where you shine!
P.S. I love the blog!
Thank you so much for the encouragement and wisdom Anonymous, uh I mean Dad, Leti, Nettie, and Ben. You guys are awesome!
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