I Still Believe

I'm sure most people who are familiar with Harvest Christian Fellowship have already heard the "I Still Believe" message from Pastor Greg Laurie after the tragic death of his 33 year old son, Christopher, but just in case anybody hasn't, it is well worth the few minutes to listen. I could only hope that I would be so faithful to my God in such a circumstance.

"I Still Believe"

What Is the Consequence for Impatience??

On New Year's Day we (okay I) decided it was time to re-arrange furniture. You know...new year, new layout. Apparently I felt that my hubby was taking too long. So to move things along, I took it upon myself to move my extremely heavy oak desk. I sure was proud of myself...just call me She-Ra, with a hernia. Yep, that's what the doc says and on Monday, Aug. 11th he's gonna fix me right up. So with my 3 and 5 year olds, its rather inconvenient seeing how I won't be up and down as much as they need me to be the first week. I'm calling in the troops (Jose and Mom) for help that week. I think I'll look at it as a mini-vacation.

If anybody ever sees me moving heavy furniture alone, please slap me on the wrist and remind me of the consequence for impatience, and pride I suppose.

Scrapbooking

On Friday night my brother's girlfriend, Amie, and I went scrapbooking. It was so fun!!! We walked in
Chino Scrapbook Company and were a bit overwhelmed with all the supplies. Thankfully Phyllis, the owner, was there and more than willing to help. We stayed for 5 hours and completed 2 pages each with Amie working on the recent New York trip she and Jeff took and me working on a page about Bekah and a page about sisters. Now I totally understand, whereas before I didn't, how scrapbookers could stay up until the wee hours of the morning doing this. It is addicting! Anyway, here are a few pictures of our first accomplishments...

Comments

I just wanted to say thanks to everybody who leaves comments. I really enjoy all the feedback and hearing from those who took the time to stop by.

For quite some time I have debated as to whether to post on July 21st of this year about something that happened in my life. I want it to be used to show God's faithfulness and love as well as help others who have dealt with this trial and help others who know others who go through this particular trial. I'll just start with my story.

Two years ago I was 18 weeks pregnant (4 1/2 months). While this baby was absolutely not planned, I had become excited about having a new little person in our family, due to join us in December. On Friday, July 21st Jose and I excitedly went to our ultrasound appointment eager to learn the sex of our new baby and see him/her on the screen. I went in and almost knew immediately that something wasn't right just by watching the technician's face. She took a long time doing measurements and just watching the screen. She brought Jose in to the room and then excused herself to bring in another tech. They both excused themselves for a good half hour (which seemed like an eternity). I tried getting information from her but of course she can't tell me anything. We were sent right away to see the doctor where I learned that my baby had stopped growing and died. I was totally shocked. I had lost my very first baby in 2001 at 7 weeks, so I was always relieved to make it through my first trimester during my subsequent pregnancies, feeling like everything was A-ok past 12 weeks. When I asked the doctor if I would miscarry naturally he said "no", as the baby had already been deceased a couple of weeks and it seemed my body (or brain) was not getting the message. So I assumed a D&C would be ordered. Nope...the baby was too big for that. So I asked, "So I have to give birth to my dead baby?". Yep. I was soooo not prepared for this. The doctor encouraged me to immediately check into the hospital to induce labor. We did.

The first response of the nurse when I walked in to L&D was "you don't look ready (meaning my size) to give birth". I was speechless. After another nurse informed her who I was and the update from my doctor she apologized and got me set up. Another nurse was assigned to me who I will never forget. She was so sympathetic and gave Jose and I time to just be together and process all the information that was given to us. Once a room became available I was admitted and they started my IV. Well, what I learned is that the labor could take up to 24 hours. It took 19. All the rest of Friday physically was not bad. My two sister-in-laws came to just sit with us. Later that evening our dear friends, Chris and Melanie, came to sit with us and be a support. I will never forget how uplifting they were. My dear friend, Tami, also dropped what she was doing to come sit with me. The Lord totally knew what I needed as Tami and Mel and me laughed our heads off that night, talking about things completely unrelated to what was going on. This may sound very odd...but I actually had a fun time. Only the Lord could orchestrate that. Then all of a sudden just before midnight the pain set in. I very quickly kicked out my guests after they prayed for us (which I knew they fully understood my being so abrupt).

That was the worst night ever. My baby may have been so very little, but that pain compared to having my 9 lb. babies And may I say that morphine does not numb the pain, only my mind. The baby just would not be delivered. After the doctor tried and tried, the baby still would not come. Finally in the morning my fabulous nurse somehow made it happen. Our baby was a little girl. Her name is Elizabeth, meaning "consecrated to God", and that she is. Jose and I were able to hold her and grieve for some time. They even wrapped her in a little knit blanket and she had a tiny hat, which I keep her in "Elizabeth Box" in my closet. You know, this miscarriage was actually easier on me than the first one. This moment of holding her allowed me to say hello and goodbye. It turned out I still needed a D&C and had to stay in the hospital for one more night to get my blood pressure at the right level. I could not wait to get home and hold my daughters.

The Lord was faithful to heal my heart. Three days after I got out of the hospital I went to our church's anniversary service. It was exactly what I needed. The worship was incredible and I have to say that no matter what trial I'm going through, singing to the Lord, giving Him worship and praise, and taking my eyes off of me truly heals my heart. The song that I remember most from that night is "You Are So Good To Me". It was medicine for my soul.

This passed weekend I got to spend my time at an amazing conference called "Women Discipling Women". Our aunt, Leti, came also and we both felt like we feasted on God's truths and were instructed in righteousness. I'm sure some of the studies I was blessed with will be shared and reflected in the near future on my blog. One of the seminars that was offered was on miscarriage, stillbirth, and early-infant death. I did not attend because there were some others I wanted to hear in person, but I have the outline and there are some very practical helpful hints to minister to women experiencing this in their lives. I thought I would share them because I've been in both positions (the one minstering and the one being ministered to). I hope this can help someone.

Things NOT to do or say when someone has experienced a loss:

• "You'll have another baby."
• Talk about or bring up things about another person's baby
• Quit calling or avoid them.
• "It was just a miscarriage--its better because you didn't feel the baby move"
• "The baby was probably deformed--it may have been a lot of headache for you."
• "I didn't feel it was the right thing for you to have a baby anyway."
• "God may be punishing you."
• "Is there sin in your life?"
• "The baby is in a better place."
• "You exercised too much--maybe you didn't eat enough______"
• "It was God's will."
• "I understand what you are going through." (Even if you've dealt with fertility issues yourself, no one but Jesus can truly understand what another person is going through. Each person's situation is unique."
• "You need to get over this. You have felt this way too long." (Maybe it has only been a few months. It takes a lot of time to grieve. The Bible says in Psalm 23 that we "...walk through the valley of the shadow of death." Psalm 27:13 says..."belief in God's goodness keeps us from despair.")

Things TO do or say when someone has experienced a loss:

• Visit them--bring them a gift: balloons, a meal, flowers to plant, offer to keep their children, etc. Let your genuine care and concern show.
• Send a memorial in memory of her child.
• Ask what they named the baby/child if it was delivered and they know the sex of the baby--Refer to them by name.
• You may want to make a memorial gift to a ministry or organization in your baby's name.
• Call periodically just to chat--maybe pray with them over the phone.
• Take her out shopping or to eat and talk about what you can do together.
• Do not hesitate to bring up her loss.
• Take her to a women's conference/meeting that you know will be uplifting.
• Buy her a book (maybe one from Caleb's Ministries' Recommended Book List). Maybe read it also to understand more of what she is going through. see http://www.calebministries.org/
• Let her talk--be a good listener/hugger/compassionate caregiver.
• Encourage her in the grief. Know what the situation is (miscarriage, stillbirth, early infant death, infertility) and call it that.

I hope some of this information is helpful.

Powerful

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue"
-Proverbs 18:21a

Last week I read this proverb during my devotions and while I've read it many times before, I've just been chewing on it. The old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me" just isn't true. Our words, and tones and expressions for that matter, can have such an impact on others. I think about the way I talk and while cussing and using the Lord's name in vain were ruled out long ago, I'm convicted because sarcasm runs rampant through my communication. While I think its fun to joke around with friends in the appropriate situations, I know I need to work on my everyday communication with my family and everyone I talk to. I want my words to give life and build up, not tear down.

Perfect Paula

I read through a fabulous homeschool curriculum guide which reveiws the author's 100 top picks for curriculum. The first several chapters are dedicated to understanding and choosing our own education philosophies, methodologies, goals, and understanding the teacher's and student's learning styles (that can turn out a little tricky and sometimes they clash).

In the learning style section we learned there are 4 basic learning styles: Wiggly Willy, Perfect Paula, Competent Carl, and Sociable Sue. While I had at least a few characteristics checked off in each category, I had every single one checked off under "Perfect Paula". Here are those characteristics:

• Likes everything neatly planned ahead of time
• Likes to follow a schedule
• Is not very good at coming up with creative ideas (as evidenced by my post below titled "I'm the Party-Pooper"
• Is comfortable with memorization and drill (If you're reading this I probably could recite your address, phone number, and birthday)
• Gets upset easily when children don't cooperate (the Lord has been really working in me on this one)
• Worries about meeting requirements
• Prefers to teach with preplanned curricula
• Is more comfortable with "cut and dried" subjects than with subjects that require exploration with no clear answers

As for Annie, I would have to classify her as a "Wiggly Willy" but I definitely think she'll grow into a Perfect Paula as I see her frustration when things don't go as scheduled. Although, she is extremely imaginative so who knows. I have no idea yet about Bekah. My prayer is that I will be sensitive and flexible so my children can receive from me.

I'm The Party-Pooper

The other day I was telling my friend, Nettie, that the one thing I dread hearing from my kids is "Will you play with me?" I know that sounds horrible, but imagining and coming up with creative stories is major work for me. I welcome questions like, "Mommy, will you read to me?" or "Can I help you cook?" but just don't ask me to play. I love to watch my kids play and have fun. It really does look like fun...I wish it came easier to me. I better work on this. I don't want to be a perpetual party-pooper

Curriculum!!

I'm so excited!! Yesterday I received the first part of the curriculum I ordered for Annie to begin kindergarten. After much research I chose to go with My Father's World for all the kindergarten subjects except for History/Social Studies. Separately I purchased a workbook called "The American People and Nation" from Christian Liberty Press. I can't wait to start teaching it! I was already impressed as I paged through and saw how dedicated the content is in teaching the true Christian principles our country was founded on as well as the dedication to Scripture memorization which correlates with each chapter's content. I was also impressed with the breakdown of the pledge of allegiance to help the children understand the meaning of what they are saying. I don't remember understanding what I was saying in elementary school.

Now my job is to figure out what field trips will be appropriate as we make our way through our lessons. This will be fun!! I feel so honored that I will be my girls' main teacher, imparting all of this wonderful knowledge to them.

My classroom (okay dining area) :) is slowing filling up on the walls. I have a small dry erase board up (I need a bigger one), a world map, a U.S. map, and the days of the week pinned up. I hit Target for some school supplies (scoring at the Dollar Spot) and have to make a trip to Costco and the school supply store to finish my supplies shopping. On Thursday I should be receiving the rest of the curriculum I ordered. Woo Hoo!!!

Prospective Schedule

This will highly likely interest nobody who will read this post, so please feel free to not read this if it bores you. :) Its really for me to utilize and adjust during the upcoming school year. I now realize the need to begin labeling my posts.

Here is my proposed schedule for us once our 1st homeschool year rolls around:

5:00 Shower, get dressed, do makeup

5:30 Devotions

6:15 Do my hair

6:30 Make Jose's lunch, put away clean dishes from previous night

7:00 Wake kids, kids get dressed, do hair, wash faces, eat breakfast, brush teeth

8:00 Start chores with kids' help: make beds, tidy up house, clean bathrooms, vacuum, dusting, sweeping, do 1 email check

9am - 12pm School time!! No phone calls made or received, no internet/email, and no TV. At some point take a break for P.E. and snack

12:00 Lunch, run errands

1:30 Read together with kids - Bible, devotional, and other books

2:00 Naptime for kids, reading time for me as well as finish up chores and review lesson for the next school day

4:30 Start dinner **Goal** Include children in cooking lessons and teach them to set the table for dinner

6:30 Dinner

7:30 Bathtime

8:30 Bedtime for kids

Saving the Planet...One Baggie At A Time

This may seem pretty small, but I am trying to do my part to go green. I'm not super involved in saving the Earth, but lately I have been recognizing that I need to do my part in taking care of this temporary home the Lord has blessed us with. Thankfully we have a recycling program in the city we live in so its pretty easy to contribute that way. I've been making sure to turn lights off when we aren't using them and keep the water useage at a minimum. My latest effort is to stop using plasic baggies. Since I started selling Tupperware I learned that it takes 100 years for a baggie to break down in the landfull. I'm proud to say that its been 3 weeks since we've had a box of baggies in our house. I still have freezer bags but I'm trying to find a replacement for those. I don't really know why I'm posting about this. :-)

Six Word Memoir

My good friend tagged me on her blog to think of a six word memoir to describe my life. I've been lazy and haven't thought of many clever phrases. The only one I could come up with to describe my life, or at least what I desire my life to reflect, is one I thought of last August when I began this blog...look at my blog title. :)

"In Him, Through Him, For Him" ("Him" being God)



Its my turn to tag a few bloggers. I tag:

Nettie
Leti
Corinne
Jessica

And my dad - please post in the comments section. :)

My Un-Birthday

My dad does something pretty neat for both Annie and me. Since our birthdays are in January, right on top of Christmas, he celebrates our 1/2 birthdays. So every July I get my own personal birthday celebration with my dad. Last night he came over and took me to Las Campanas (mmmm!) We enjoyed good food and good conversation. He also gave me a cute decorative box with new stamps and an ink pad and money for scrapbooking. Yay!! I'm so looking forward to begin scrapping and I have the date set next Friday night to begin.

Thanks, Dad!!