I've been dwelling on this question for a while now. Here are my thoughts and I'd love to hear yours.
Personally, I verbally have taught my daughters that we should not interrupt others, particulary adults, when they are speaking and also that we should not yell, scream, or whine to be heard. Do they always obey these rules? No way! And here is what I have observed (which I am ashamed to admit):
So many times I have interrupted my own children, whether to finish a sentence for them because of my own lack of patience or out of translation to another who doesn't quite get what my little one is saying (which is understandable). I also have been guilty of interrupting simply because I stopped paying attention to what the child began to say (which means the child probably lost their train of thought) or because something more important, or what seems like it at the time, came up. Currently my 2 year old yells, "Excuse Me!!!" when she realizes I've stopped paying attention or someone else began talking over her. It may not be the best approach for her and I'll work on modifying it, but can you blame her? How horrible is this? I have not been walking my talk or practicing what I preach! I would never treat an adult in this way...so why should I treat my precious little girls so rudely? What am I teaching them? That they are less important? You know what I've also noticed? Other adults, but not all, do the same thing to my kids (and I'm sure its not unique to my own children). I was watching my daughter's preschool teacher and she is so patient with each child. She does not hurry them along when they speak, studder, forget what they were saying, or repeat what they just said a few minutes ago. I want to be this way. Please join me in being aware that the little children in our lives are people too...with feelings and things to say that are important in their own little world. Some (like mine) don't always speak up or hurry up in their speech, but they still deserve the same courtesy we are shown by others. Thanks for listening to me rant and share my heart. I'd love to hear your perspectives on this issue.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Why Do Children Yell and Interrupt?
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4 comments:
I love What you are saying. I have a devotional by doctor James Dobsom that quotes
One of the surest ways to make a child feel insecure is to treat him as though he is different...unusual...brittle.
Dare to Discipline,p52
Mark 10:16
And He took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.
Your children are pre-wired to looking to you for love and approval and inspiration and care-they want you most of all. Your heart your imagination,your joy,your love,your direction. We can only do this by Gods Holy Spirit. SALLY CLARKSON AUTHOR OF EDUCATING THE WHOLE HEARTED CHILD.
Personally, When Calvin was younger I used to try to stop him from interupting. But with him being just a toddler and a few years older I had to realize that some things are unreasonable expectations. And with each child there is a different tempermant that we as parents need to disern. Now that he is a little older looking over the horizon of the tween years, I am learning how to patiently implement this manner in him.
So if I am talking, he needs to come and place his hand on my shoulder if it's really important. If not he needs to wait. This whole training process is under construction right now. But with Ezekiel who will be four this month. I couldn't possibly expect him to wait. And when Zeek wants to tell me something important he starts his first word off with ten of the same word.
To my own shame, I have to admit that you are 100% correct about neglecting our childrens attention. I am so guilty. If I am on the phone or computor longer than I should be and the kids run a muck resulting in me getting mad. Then Shame on Me! Sometimes when Calvin is talking my ear off. All I can hear is BLA BLA BlA. Then when he's finished he asks me to repeat everything he just said. He has alot to share but no one to share it with but me. So I am trying really hard to learn to listen. And just recently we where visiting someone. They normally hurt his fealings being sarcastic adding many expectations. But this last time it was more pleasent. Although it happened again, the harshness. I prepared myself by praying that the Lord would use me to set the tone and be an example to how an adult should relate to a child who is exstatic about life. And prepare Calvin to continue to respect adults, but realize that some are less paitent with kids and that we need to be paitent with them and pray for them. It worked praise God. Enough rambling, Calvin needs my attention.
blessings
Nettie
I have a lot to say but too much to write because my fingers are old and decrepit. So if you have the inclination ask me verbally and I'll share my years of experience, observations, and completely biased opinions. :-)
Love,
Dad
Gosh, I love what you wrote and it is extremely convicting. Now that my children are 22 & 21 I wonder where those years went. However, I am so thankful that your girls (aside all the drama and mistakes, we all make as parents) have a Mom like you who love Jesus and is constantly looking to Him for the direction needed. From my standpoint, you are doing a wonderful job at being there for your girls. I love to see you interact with them. Keep loving the Lord and looking to His Word for direction and one day, I know, you will reap the benefits of a wonderful relationship with your girls.
You know it is so funny because my isaiah is getting on that age when he ask for things but with a big scream, that I was so surprised because he never act like that before and I was praying to the Lord to show me how to dicipline my kid because my Angel never did that. And reading your blog is being a great answer for me because what you wrote is so true. I like it, thank you.
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