Tuesday, September 25, 2007

"Why are you cast down, O my soul?

And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God." - Psalm 42:11


Last night I layed awake just feeling sad. I had attended the viewing/rosary service for an extended family member, Jessie. I honestly didn't know her well and would see her once every several years at a family gathering. I always remember her to have been smiling and laughing and chewing gum. Even though I wasn't close to her or really even to her husband and children, I was still grieved for them. Just a couple hours earlier I learned that Paula, a beautiful and sweet lady from church also passed away on Saturday night. She, like Jessie, had fought a hard battle of cancer.

There is a sense of jealousy, on my part, of those who get to be with Jesus now. I'm sure they would not want to be brought back to their earthly lives if that were even possible. I mean, what could compare with seeing God face to face and living in a state of no pain, sadness, dissappointment, or evil? But the grief of those left behind is too much. As my husband had pointed out when my Aunt Terry passed away 2 1/2 years ago, death was not part of the plan. When God first created man, we were to live forever. It was sin that brought death and because of that, we are made to endure that grief. That is why death is so horrible to endure. We weren't intended to deal with that grief. Thank God for the hope He's given us...if we will just love Him with our hearts, minds, strength, and souls and believe in what Jesus did for us on the cross, we have the hope of eternal life. We will be re-united with our loved ones who also loved Him on earth.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Grief is such a complicated emotion. Just when you think you are okay, something brings it all back again. Indeed, this is not the way it was intended to be, that is why our emotions are so incredibly complex. Praise God that He knows, He sees and most importantly He cares and can gives us the strength to overcome, one emotion at a time. You know on Sunday as I sat at church ready to worship My Jesus, I smelled the beautiful flowers that were on the altar. And can you believe it that in an instant I was transported to Sept. 1993 when I entered the mortuary where we had my brother's funeral. I fought the feelings and wondered "what in the world", but there it was the raw feelings all over again. And then of course I proceeded to recount all those loved ones who have gone on before me and who I miss, even when I don't say anything. I happened to have my Dad's scarf and I simply touched it...wow, the emotions. Praise be to God that He has conquered that last enemy-death. In Him we have comfort and hope - a hope that doesn't dissapoint. Yes, our hope is in God who alone can make all things work together for good to those that love Him and are the called according to His purpose.

Anonymous said...

Leti,

It's funny how the flowers brought back your brother's memory. My first real recollection of the fragrance of flowers was at my aunt's funeral. I wasn't all that close to her but the funeral was a poignant experience for a 10-year-old. Prior to that I'd never really noticed flowers' fragrance but, to this day, the beautiful fragrance of a bouquet always reminds me of that funeral. It's not a problem because I always remind myself that God created flowers to give us beauty and that they're a symbol of his love for us.

Anonymous said...

wow, thank you for sharing that Mel. That is really interesting and I love how you look at flowers. I simply love the beauty of their individuality. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Gabe and I have gone through some difficult times latley.His Mom, Grandfather, and great grandmother Passing away So soon,within one year almost to the date. So many memories.The hardest thing is when the kids talk about Gabes Mom. We both cry at the drop of any memory especially the holidays.Weve been to about eight funerals within the last three years. It seems as though cancer is in every family nowadays.I just found out that my Aunt has cancer the same day we herd of Paula going to be with Jesus, We couldnt help ourselves. The scripture verse that you quoted is just exactly how we have been feeling for awhile. We have been in the shadow of the valley of death for awhile. Psalm 23

Anonymous said...

leti,

You are very encouraging. thank you for sharing.

nettie

lulu said...

lety,
I also have something of my dad. I brought a blue sweater that he loved to wear, when i brought it home it still had his smell on it, and i used to go into my closet and smell it when i wanted to feel close to him. but after a while the smell went away and i was very sad that i couldn't smell him anymore.

Leti said...

hey lulu,
I know this might not be of too much comfort, but think about it you can still go into your closet and spend time with your Heavenly Father. He is always there and will give you the comfort you need when you miss your earthly dad. And you also have lots and lots of memories that you can continue to keep alive in your mind and heart.

Leti said...

someone pointed out to me that my date on the first post was wrong...it is not Sept. 1993, but Sept. 1983 - foggy mind, sorry!